Before examining the materials for the unit and being involved in class activities of Psychologists I have some concerns about the discussion on the subject of grief and loss because it’s a difficult subject for both novices in counseling, but as well experienced counselors. I’m committed to making efforts to research aspects of the subject in depth to acquire a deeper understanding regarding the subject of counseling loss in a psychology career.
I believe that the theoretical information is easy to comprehend and comprehend despite the numerous subtopics. However, I do anticipate difficulties in applying the theories as well as models and concepts in practice. I will do my best to anticipate and conquer potential problems that could arise when applying the theoretical concepts and principles to the real challenging cases of loss or grieving.
At this point, I am keen on exploring different kinds of losses and differences in dealing with these losses and the choice of the appropriate strategy. The issue lies in the fact that when I think about loss, I usually concentrate on death as a typical loss, and the intense grief that comes with it however, I am aware that counseling is a process where the concept of loss can be broader and all aspects should be dealt with by a professional.
To succeed in my studies I will concentrate on rethinking the theoretical material and the tasks that are practical in a way that is personal to address the expected difficulty in applying. I believe that this approach will help me become more engaged with the subject and an understanding and analysis of issues. But, I’m concerned that my view of the subject as too difficult and complex could hinder me from achieving my potential to study it. So, I’m planning to approach this subject as a professional aiming to expand the topics of my interest in the field to expand my existing knowledge about counseling.
The studies and participation in the activities led me to think that death is still the most difficult loss that I’m able to work with. But, despite knowing that the course and the associated readings offer details to deal with such loss as a loss, I know that I may encounter a myriad of issues when working with clients who talk about their role in causing the death of someone else and are afflicted with guilt.
In these instances, the pain resulting from the loss could be immense and difficult to deal with. Therefore, I can discuss these kinds of losses as difficult for me. In these instances, I must avoid judgment or stereotypes. The method that I can use to solve the issue and show my commitment to the individual is to concentrate on the methods to lessen the guilt that hinders the person from facing the loss.
Another concern is working with those who have experienced suicide. The reason for this is my personal view of suicide as an act of sin. Therefore I must be more attentive to being aware of the loss that a client experiences with suicide to offer efficient counseling. So, I must tackle the issue by focusing on ethical principles, staying clear of judgments and prejudices, as well as not making judgments from my perspective rather than the perspective of the client. From here I need to anticipate the scenario in which my personal beliefs can affect the client’s decision-making process and then remain ethical and focused on the client’s issue and needs.
When I first began the study of the materials for the unit I was keen to know more about the different kinds of losses as well as the various ways to discuss the subject. Thus the division in losses between developmental tangible intangible, primary, and secondary losses provided me with the opportunity to develop the foundation of the subject.
With the stereotypical notion that people typically consult counselors when experiencing the sadness of the loss of a close friend, I was shocked to find the range of grief that people endure and overcome every day. These losses vary in terms of their severity and type and can be recognized or not by other people. It is crucial to keep in mind that all of these losses impact the individual’s mood the person’s motivation, motives, as well as interactions with others.
The information and experiences gained during the week led me to think more deeply about the range of reactions people have to various losses, including loss of development, losses that are due to the state of health loss of capabilities loss that result from the end of various kinds of relationships, and many more. I had the chance to think about my view of loss from the viewpoint of others because only those who experience losses of any kind can truly comprehend the array of emotions one is experiencing. In addition, I realized how the phrases in the opening section of the course about loss and changes can be connected to reality because people move through different phases of grief regardless that they are in the category of loss.
Any significant change for someone can lead them to be depressed, afflicted with anxiety and angst, and need support needed to overcome the issue. These are the major results of my first steps of studying the issue and comprehending the basic principles of the counselor’s job as they address the issues of grief and loss. So, I’m planning to spend more time understanding these aspects of the subject.
As I was recognizing the need to think about my personal experiences of grief and loss I was a bit worried. I believed that I had never experienced a significant loss worthy of writing about. But after reviewing the sources on the different kinds of loss, I concluded that life for a person is filled with important, difficult, or even unconscious experiences that cause a person to move through stages of grief which may differ in duration. The loss experience that recently made me deal with the stages of grief has brought about the end of a friendship and has to be analyzed and discussed in the theories of grief.
I was a close pal from childhood with whom I interacted for an extended period and, even when we were focusing on our studies and work, we continued talking because our friendships gave us a sense of comfort and security. But, one day my friend texted me a message stating that we couldn’t communicate anymore. There was no explanation and all messages or phone calls were not answered.
I believe that the spouse felt an impact on my girlfriend and asked her to end the relationship, but I’m only able to speculate. The scenario could be viewed as normal, however, it’s being able to say that the emotions related to the incident can now be considered as me coping with loss and the stages of grief. I was shocked by the abrupt end of the friendship and also frustrated due to my inability to get reasons or talk about the situation without censorship.
My loss experience was caused by my inability to admit that the ending of my friends was an actual and unanticipated loss for me which triggered a variety of negative emotions and feelings. I was not prepared to accept that friendships could never be repaired. So, I started conversations with my friend but received no answers which triggered the negative reaction of the spouse of the friend. In the end, I became depressed as a result of the negative attitude of the individuals involved in the incident. The main factor which influenced my experiences was guilt.
With no explanations for the reason for ending the relationship, I was convinced that the issue could lie in my conduct and that I had to take action to resolve the issue and apologize. However, I was not deprived of this chance. In the end, I couldn’t effectively manage the grief, and my emotions grew less overwhelming due to the passage of time but not because of accepting the losses. At this point, I realize that every loss must be recognized, and is best to approach it from a counselor’s point of view to reduce the negative effects. At present, I am disappointed due to my inability to deal with the issue which affects my perception of the loss. I need to go through my grief stages once more to be able to accept any changes that have occurred in my relationships with the person I lost.
The information I have gained on grief and loss theories allows me to examine my personal experience within the context of these theories so that I can gain a deep understanding of the issue and identify methods of dealing with it. My loss can be described as a tangible and interpersonal one (Valentine 2006; Winokuer & Harris, 2012). To Parkes’s model of grief, I was afflicted by complications as I was dealing with the emotional pain of loss and was suffering from severe grief (Parkes 2009).
Then, I researched methods to deal with the loss and felt guilt and anxiety, but it appears that I failed to deal with the loss successfully since I was not able to fully accept the loss. Parkes’s theory was based on Bowlby’s Attachment Theory that I chose to apply to my situation as well. According to Bowlby Attachment Theory, describes the loss that results from breaking up the emotional bonds that connect individuals, and the method of dealing with grief includes stages like denial and shock, protest dismay, re-organization, and anger (Corr and Corr 2007; Servaty Seib 2004).
I was amazed when I realized the importance of breaking bonds, and protested the situation but tried to alter it and communicate with my friend. However, I was in dismay because I was not able to do so and decided to cease contemplating the loss. This is why the phase of the reorganization was not completely felt to me and I am confident that I am at this point even today.
The other model I have applied for my losses is called the Dual Process Model. It’s also founded on the principles of Attachment Theory, but it is based on the principles of Attachment Theory, but it lets you rethink the stages of grief in terms of the individual’s ability to come back from a loss. Stroebe Schut and Schut (2008) identified “loss orientation” as well as restoration orientations in the process of grieving and I would like to say that I followed the loss orientation’ for a lengthy period, but it is only now that I can forget any negative thoughts about the incident and to accept my new relationships to adhere to the restoration orientation’. To me, Stroebe as well as Schut’s Dual Process Model is the best way to tell my story of dealing with loss.
In examining my experience of loss by examining the theories of both contemporary and traditional as well as my personal experience I’m able to state that these findings are crucial to guide my approach to counseling. The reason for this is that I have recognized the importance of the final phase in grieving models. Theorists claim that all individuals go through the same phases when dealing with grief. The phases of loss acceptance, the process of reorganization, or restoration can be discussed as crucial to ensure that the person has handled the grief fully. So, in my practice, I pay a lot of focus on helping my clients grieve their loss, recognize the emotions that accompany them, comprehend the importance of organizing their thoughts and ideas about losing, as well as employ the correct strategies.
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